First thing you want to do is lift the toilet seat cover so the water is visible . Then leave the seat down if you are dropping a load . Lift the seat up if you are planning on urinating . If dropping off dura-flame logs a courtesy flush may be necessary in order not to clog the toilet with your over-size fecal matter .
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HOW TO TUTORIALS
FLOUNDERZ HOW TO'S FOR DUMB ASSES !
HOUSEHOLD HOW TO'S
HOW TO USE A TOILET
A HOUSE
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FIRST LIFT THE SEAT COVER TO TAKE A DUMP
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE TOILET PAPER AND READING MATERIAL
AFTER YOU FLUSH THE TOILET SHOULD BE CLEAR OF FECAL REMAINS
  Then make sure that you have plenty of toilet paper to wipe your dumb-ass when finished . Also have plenty of reading material for your bomb dropping session . When finished peeling paint flush the bio-toxic waste by pushing down the flush handle on toilet . You may have to flush more than once .
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  Then once you have flushed your toilet bowl it should be clear of any urine and fecal matter . If bowl clogs use plunger to force the pipe clogging poop down the hole . Use gentle up and down strokes to free the clog .
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TO URINATE LIFT UP THE SEAT
WHEN DONE UN-LOADING FECAL MATTER FLUSH THE TOILET
IN-CORRECT !
CORRECT !